Shades of Gray
by stepd81
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray. Chapter 24 up! Completed!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 1)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: This is a story I wrote several years ago, but just never got around to posting. It is set sometime in season 1 before Doyle's heroic sacrifice. Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 1

Angel, Cordelia and Doyle were sitting in the office of Angel Investigations researching a few mysterious deaths that had recently taken place. It was pretty much a normal day at the office for the three. It was almost sunset, and Angel was considering sending his two employees home before dark.

"Uh, guys, why don't you go? I'll work on the research for the night."

"But Angel, wouldn't it be faster if we help you?" Cordelia protested.

"Yes, but I don't want you going home after dark. Something is going on and I don't want you to get hurt." Angel insisted.

Cordelia was about to protest when the office door opened and a young woman walked into the office. She was medium height, with long dark brown hair, almost black. Her eyes were also dark. She was wearing a velvet dress in deep scarlet; it was long and had an empire cut waist and lower neckline. She was very attractive, but not in an overwhelming way. "Excuse me? Is this Angel Investigations?"

Doyle spoke up then. "Yes. It is. Can we help you?"

"My name is Alejandra. I was wondering if I might speak with Angel." The woman answered.

Angel stepped forward. "I'm Angel. What can I do for you?" He tried to be polite, but there was something about the woman that made him uneasy. She wasn't human.

"You're Angel? I should have known when I walked in. Am I interrupting important business? If I am, I can come back another time. My reason for coming is simply to talk; it is not an urgent matter."

"Actually, Doyle and I were just leaving." Cordelia said as she started to push Doyle toward the door.

"Ok guys, I'll see you in the morning. And be careful, go straight home the streets aren't exactly safe after dark." He talked to his friends but never took his eyes off of the woman in front of him. When Doyle and Cordelia were gone he turned to his office. "We can talk in my office." He walked around his desk to sit. "Can I get you something to drink? Coffee?" He offered.

"No, thank you. I'm fine." She returned as she sat down.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room; finally, Angel spoke. "So, would you like to tell me why you're here? After all I'm not real popular with the vampire crowd these days."

Alejandra gave a small smile before answering. "No, I don't suppose you would be."

"So you do know who I am." Angel was only mildly surprised, most of the vampire community in L.A. knew about him.

"Yes. I know a lot about you. Or rather, I know a lot about Angelus."

Angel tensed when she mentioned his demon's name. "Who are you?"

"I'm a vampire quite like yourself." She looked into his eyes. "I have a soul, Angel. Just as you do."

Angel was at a loss for words at first. The revelation that she too had a soul shocked him to his core. How could there be another like him? After a moment, he regained his vocal ability. "What? How?"

"Well, that is a very long story, but one I'm not opposed to telling if you wish to listen."

"I've got time." He stated simply.

Alejandra laughed at the simple truth of the statement. "Yes, I suppose you do." She paused for a moment before starting her story. "I was in Europe in the last half of the eighteenth century. I moved from town to town, country to country, killing and feeding. I was a vampire, and I did it very well. As I traveled, I began to hear stories of a particularly vicious vampire by the name of Angelus. The stories I heard of the things that he did were...awe-inspiring. I knew that I had to find him. So, I began to follow. Angelus, however, was not easy to catch. I was always one step behind, arriving in a town the night after his departure. I came close a couple of times, but never close enough." She paused to look at Angel, who was listening intently. "After decades of following, searching, I discovered that he was in Romania. So, naturally, I went, thinking that maybe this would be the end of my search. When I got there, I began to ask around. I came across many vampires that told me they saw him going this way or that way. I went and came up with nothing. One night, I was asking around when a woman who had overheard my conversation with another came up to me. 'You're looking for a vampire named Angelus are you?' When I told her yes, she laughed in my face and began to speak in a language I didn't recognize. I ran from her, but she continued her chant. I collapsed on a nearby park bench and I believe I passed out for some time. I don't know how long I was out, but when I awoke, I had a soul. I found out a couple of months later that you also had a soul. Over the years, I was able to fully piece together the story of why you were cursed. Now here I am."

Angel looked at her for a minute. He was still in shock that this was happening. "So, why did it take you so long to find me? I've been in California for a few years."

"I lost track of you about fifty years ago. I tried to find leads as to where you had gone, but no one seemed to know and those who did, weren't talking. Anyway, I moved out here about a month ago. I started hearing about this P.I. who handles strange cases. After looking into it some more, I find that it's a vampire with a soul, goes by the name Angel. I had to find you. Here I am." Alejandra smiled.

Angel looked at her then got up and walked over to the window. The sun had set and the lights of Los Angeles shone brightly in the dark of the night. "Why are you here? Why do you want me?"

"Why not? I've been searching for you for well over a century, pretty close to two centuries now." Alejandra answered.

"But I have a soul now. I'm not the vampire you started out looking for."

"And I'm not the vampire who started looking...yet I am. I have a soul, but at least part of me is still the same. Is that not true of you?"

Angel turned to look at her. "Is that why you're here? To remind me that I'm still a demon? That I'll never be able to get rid of him? That I'll never be that different?" His voice rose and rang with the anger building inside of him.

His anger caught Alejandra by surprise; she stood and took a step back. "No, of course not. I'm only here to tell you that you're not alone. You don't have to go through it alone."

"Well, in case you didn't notice before, I'm not alone." Angel said.

Alejandra nodded. "Well, I guess that's that. I'll just leave then. I'm sorry to have upset you. I can see now that my decision to appear was not a good idea." She turned to leave. She was at the door before she turned back around. "If you ever change your mind, give me a call." She set a piece of paper with her phone number on it on his desk and walked out.

Angel just stood quiet and watched her leave. He had too many emotions and thoughts running through him to stop her. He heard the door to the front office close to indicate that she was gone and made his way downstairs to his apartment. There was going to be a lot of brooding this night.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 2)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Here's number two. It's a longer chapter and starts to really get into the story. Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 2

The next morning Angel walked into the office. Cordelia looked up from her computer. "Good morning."

"Morning." Angel responded.

"So, how did it go with that girl? What was her name?"

"Alejandra." Doyle answered.

"Right. How did it go with her?" Cordelia asked.

"I don't want to talk about it. She won't be coming back. There's no reason for her name to be brought up again, ok?"

"Ok." Cordelia said.

"No problem, boss." Doyle answered.

Angel looked at both of them. "Good. Now let's work on the research from yesterday."

Angel grabbed a couple of books and went into his office, closing the door behind him.

Cordelia looked over at Doyle. "Guess it didn't go well at all."

Doyle nodded. "I think there was more to her than met the eye. I got a very strange feeling from her myself."

Cordelia said. "What do you think she wanted from Angel?"

Doyle looked at her and shook his head. "I have no idea. Whatever it was, she definitely didn't want to say it in front of us."

Just then Angel opened his office door and stood in the doorway. Both of his employees turned their attention to him. "She is a vampire. She says that she has a soul. Apparently, she was cursed not long after me because she was following me around trying to catch up to me when I was Angelus. She lost track of me half a century ago and finally found me again. She came to tell me that I'm not alone. I informed her that I knew that and she went on her way. Satisfied?" Angel just stared at Cordelia and Doyle.

"Another vampire with a soul? Wow. I mean, I thought you were the only one." Cordelia said.

"So did I, but unless she's lying, I'm not. It doesn't matter now because she won't be coming back." Angel stated.

Doyle said. "Aren't you curious, man? Don't you want to find out more about her? At least find out for sure if she's telling the truth?"

Angel looked at him; he was starting to lose his patience. "No, Doyle, I don't want to know. I don't care. The only things that she can tell me are about a past that I'm trying to overcome. Having her tell me the story just defeats that purpose." Angel's look softened before he continued. "Look, I know you're just trying to help, but I don't need her in my life. I have you two, and you are all the friends I need, ok."

Cordelia and Doyle both nodded. Angel was about to go back into his office when the door opened and Spike walked in.

"Speaking of unwanted blasts from the past." Cordelia mumbled under her breath. Angel shot her a look to quiet her.

"Good to see you too, luv." Spike smiled at her.

"What are you doing here, Spike?" Angel asked more than a little irritated.

Spike looked at his sire. "Well, someone's a bit grumpy this morning." Angel just glared at him. "Right. Well, I was just in town. So I thought I'd stop by and say hi."

"Well, you said it. Now you can leave." Angel stated coldly.

"That's not very nice." Spike replied.

"And why should he be nice to you?" Cordelia glared at Spike.

The door opened just as Spike started to comeback with a witty reply. Alejandra appeared in the doorway. Everyone turned to look at her. Spike was the first to speak.

"Ali?" He asked in surprise.

"Hello Spike." Alejandra replied in an even voice. They stood staring at one another until Angel broke the silence.

"You two know each other?" Angel asked.

"We met a long time ago. What's it been? Twenty years?" Alejandra answered.

"Has it been twenty years already?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't expect you to realize that. How's Drusilla?"

Spike tensed at the mention of her name. "Gone."

Alejandra held back a smile. "I'm sorry. I hate when that happens."

Spike glared at her for a moment; the tension between the two could be felt by all. Finally, Alejandra broke eye contact. She looked at Angel. "I only came by to give you this." She handed him an envelope. "I had intended to give it to you last night, but I forgot. So, I'll be on my way then." She turned to Spike. "It was nice to see you. Goodbye, Spike." She turned to walk out the door.

"Where did you get this?" Angel asked before Alejandra got out the door.

She turned back to look at him. "I ran into Darla about thirty years ago. She asked me to give it to you if I ever found you."

"So, you gave him the letter; you can be on your way now."

"Spike!" Angel yelled at his childe.

Alejandra glared at Spike. "It's alright, Angel. I should be going. Though, I don't understand what right you have to be angry, Spike. I'm not the one who left twenty years ago." Again she turned to leave. This time she was halfway down the hall before Angel's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Please stay. I'd like to talk to you."

She turned to look at him. "Really? Because last night you made it very clear that you didn't want to talk to me." She looked into his eyes.

He nodded then held up the envelope. "I know, but you got my attention. I'm more than a little intrigued now." He gave her a small smile. "Please, come back in."

She nodded and followed him into the office. Spike looked up to see her come back in. "I thought you were leaving."

"Not my style, when asked to stay."

He stood up and headed for the door.

"Leaving so soon, Spike?" Alejandra asked.

He looked at her. "Yeah." He paused then whispered. "You never asked me to stay." He looked her in the eye for a moment then looked at Angel. "See you later, peaches."

Angel glared at him until he was gone. Everyone sat down.

"Should we leave?" Cordelia asked Angel.

He looked at Alejandra who answered. "I see no reason that you should have to go. I can see that you are close to Angel; I don't mind you hearing my stories."

Angel looked at Cordelia and Doyle. "You two should stay. I know you're as interested as I am." They both nodded and smiled.

"So, what do you want to know?" Alejandra asked.

Angel said. "Let's start with how you know Spike."

She looked at her hands, which were folded in her lap, before beginning. "We met twenty years ago in a bar in San Francisco. I was feeling particularly depressed that day so I decided to have a few drinks to take the edge off. I was sitting at the bar wallowing in self-pity when this beautiful creature walks in. If I'd had breath, he would have taken it away." She paused as she got lost in her thoughts for a minute. "Anyway, he sat down on the stool next to me and ordered a drink. After a few minutes, we started talking. Apparently, Drusilla had kicked him out for the night; he made her mad over something. We talked for a long time about the places we'd been, the things we'd seen, the things we'd done. You know, typical vampire conversation. Then, he leaned over and kissed me; it was sweet and gentle, but had a very demanding edge to it. I invited him to my apartment." Alejandra stopped again as she got lost in the memory of the night. She shook her head and continued. "We spent the night together and fell asleep in each other's arms. I slept the whole day with dreams of him dancing through my mind, but when I woke up shortly after sunset, he was gone. Until today, I hadn't seen him since that night. I left San Francisco a couple of nights later and never returned. I knew he had gone back to her and didn't want to risk running in to them." She looked up to meet Angel's eyes.

"You and Spike...ewww!" Cordelia's outburst broke the silence.

Alejandra laughed. "You don't find him attractive?"

"NO!"

"Oh, well, I did, and still do." Alejandra stated.

"Well, you must be the only one, except that lunatic of an ex-girlfriend of his." Cordelia said.

"Oh, I'm sure I'm not the only one who fell under the spell of those blue eyes." Alejandra stated.

Angel interrupted the discussion. "Ok, so that answers how you know Spike. The next question is, how did you know Darla?"

Alejandra smiled at him. "What makes you think I knew her?"

"You had to meet her in order for her to give you the letter." He stated simply.

Alejandra smiled. "Yes, I suppose you're right, but I met her long before she gave me the letter. I met her in Ireland a few years before you were turned."

"Wait. You're older than me?" Angel asked.

"Oh, yes. I'm a little over a century older, in fact. I was turned in 1650." Alejandra smiled. "That surprises you, doesn't it?"

"I guess I just assumed that you would be younger. I don't know why."

"It's ok. Anyway, I met Darla when I was ninety-five. I guess it was about eight years before you were turned. We met at a social gathering. We were there to find a suitable meal. Those parties were always the best hunting; so many men who would willingly throw themselves at a woman's feet." Alejandra chuckled. "She positively hated me. I was unintentionally taking the men from her; they kept drifting from her circle to join mine. I loved the attention and knowing that I was beating the competition just made it sweeter. She caught up with me as I was leaving with one of the young men, who was completely oblivious to the fact that he would be dead before sunrise, and she told me that if I knew what was best for me I would leave town as soon as possible. I laughed at the time, but I did leave because I knew that she was capable of following through on her threat. I didn't see her again until she gave me that letter and then only for the time it took to give it to me." She finished her story and looked at Angel.

Angel looked at her. "I remember Darla telling me a story like that about a vampiress named Zana."

Alejandra nodded. "That was me. My given name is Xaranzana, and I often went by Zana. I changed my name a few years ago because I was tired of spelling my name for people. Most can spell Alejandra with no more than one mistake but I never had a person spell Xaranzana correctly."

Angel chuckled. "So, it was you. She really did hate you. She swore that if she ever saw you again she would kill you."

"I know. I think it only upset her so much because I was the only competition she had ever had. She never had to fight to keep the attention of a man, but that night while I was there, she did." Alejandra smiled. "Anyway, is there anything else you'd like to know?"

"I don't really have any specific questions. Doyle? Cordelia? Anything you want to know?"

Doyle asked. "So, where are from? Where were you turned?"

"Madrid. I was born there, lived there, died there."

"How old were you when you were turned?" This question came from Cordelia.

"I was twenty-one."

Angel looked at her then. "So, were you married?"

Alejandra paused before answering. "As far as my family knew, yes, but in reality, I don't think so." They all looked at her confused. "My sire courted me as any human male would have. He got the permission of my parents, and he married me. But he was a vampire so I don't see how it could have been a legal marriage. Anyway, he turned me on our wedding night."

"How sad." Cordelia commented.

"Yes, but at that time I welcomed death. I wanted to die. You see, he was not the first to court me. When I was sixteen, I fell in love with a man. We were supposed to marry. He was killed two weeks before the wedding was to take place. I mourned his death until the day I died. I loved him and only him. My parents asked me to marry the man, who was actually a vampire, when he came along four years after the love of my life died. I accepted his proposal of marriage to honor my parents and for no other reason." Alejandra got a far off look in her eyes as the memories of the past flooded her mind.

Doyle asked something to change the subject and hopefully lighten the mood in the room. "So, why did you change your name to Alejandra? I mean, was there any specific reason."

Alejandra smiled. "Yes. First, I chose it because it is a beautiful name, in my opinion, and I wanted something Spanish. But there is also a story that goes with why I chose the name."

"Will you tell us the story?" Cordelia asked with a hopeful smile.

Alejandra smiled. "Of course. In the nineteenth century, during my search for Angelus. I went back to Spain. One night in Madrid, I met a man. We began talking and decided to take a walk. We walked around most of the city just talking all night. He was the only mortal that I never wanted to kill. The entire time we talked that night I never thought of feeding from him. His name was Alexander, but he insisted that I call him Alejandro because we were in Spain, and I had told him that I spoke Spanish. So, when I changed my name a few decades ago, I remembered him and chose the name Alejandra in his memory."

"That's a sweet story." Cordelia said.

Alejandra smiled. "One of the few sweet stories I have." She glanced at the clock on the wall and stood up. "It was very nice talking with you, but I must leave."

Angel stood. "Why?"

"Well, I have a meeting to go to this afternoon, and it would be rude to be late." Alejandra answered.

"Will we see you again?" Cordelia asked.

Alejandra looked at her. "If you like." She smiled at Cordelia and turned to leave.

Angel walked her over to the door. "I'd like to talk to you more. Can you come back tonight?"

"Yes, I can come around ten or eleven. Is that too late?"

He shook his head. "No, that will be fine. So, I'll see you tonight."

"Yes. I'll see you then. It was very nice to meet you finally, Angel." Alejandra smiled.

"The pleasure was mine." He answered

Alejandra smiled and left. Angel turned back to the office with a smile on his face.

"You like her, don't you?" Cordelia said.

"Of course I like her; she's a very nice woman." Angel answered.

Cordelia and Doyle smiled knowingly. Angel went into his office to pass the time until night came.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 3)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Yay, here's another chapter. Sorry it's another short one. Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 3

At ten-thirty there was a knock on Angel's door. He opened the door and smiled at Alejandra. "Please come in." He stepped out of the way to allow her into the room.

She smiled. "Thank you." They sat down in the living room.

"Did your meeting go well?"

"Yes, it did. How was your afternoon?"

"It was fine. Spike showed up to harass me a little more, but then he left and all was well again." Angel said with a smile.

"I see. He shows up a lot?"

"No, not really. Usually just when he doesn't have anyone else to annoy." Angel answered.

"Oh." She stared off into space for a moment.

"You really fell for him, didn't you?" Angel asked.

Alejandra looked back at him. "Yes. I fell in love with him the minute I saw him, and after all these years it has not faded."

"After twenty years, after all that he did to you, you still love him?"

"Don't you?" Alejandra countered.

Angel nodded. "Touché." Then he turned to look at her. "But it's not the same."

"You're right. It's not the same, at least not exactly the same. But it's the truth, and he loves you as much as you love him. He pretends to hate you but he doesn't really. He hates that you left him, but he cannot hate you. He needs you as you need him."

Angel looked at her. "It's not that simple."

"Oh, but it is. You two are just too prideful to allow yourselves to need each other. You just need to get over the stubbornness and concentrate on yourselves and each other."

"Someday, maybe." Angel smiled. They were quiet for a moment. "So, do you have any childer?"

"Yes, I have one. His name is Fabrizio." Alejandra answered.

"Do you see him anymore?" Angel asked.

"I haven't seen him in over two hundred years." She paused. "I turned him the same year that Darla turned you. He was a very handsome young man. For forty years we traveled through Europe together. He was with me when I first started to follow Angelus, but Fabrizio had a good heart. He was kinder than I thought a vampire should be, and I finally sent him away from me. I have not seen him since."

"You miss him." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. I missed him more after my soul was returned to me than I did before that, but I always missed him. I have no idea where he is now, and I'm sure even if I found him, he would not want me."

"You don't know that. Maybe he's looking for you, maybe he misses you as much as you miss him, maybe he needs you just like you need him." Angel paused. "That is why you want me to work on things with Spike, isn't it?"

Alejandra smiled. "It's just that I know what it's like to need someone like that. And I know what it's like to know that you have lost them; I don't want you to have to know how that feels. Don't lose him, Angel."

Angel nodded. "I won't. You don't give up on finding your childe."

Alejandra nodded and smiled. "Ok. Let's make a deal. I won't give up on finding Fabrizio, and you don't let Spike get away from you."

Angel smiled. "Deal."

"Ok."

They talked for the rest of the night. When dawn started to get close, Alejandra left and promised to come back the next evening.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 4)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: And another chapter. Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 4

The next night just after sunset Alejandra knocked on the door to Angel's apartment. He opened the door and stepped aside to let her in. "I'm glad you came."

Alejandra smiled. "It's good to see you." As she stepped into the living room, she saw Spike sitting on the couch. He looked up when she came in the room. "Spike." She turned to Angel. "I didn't realize he would be here. I can go, if you like."

"No. That's not necessary." Angel replied.

Alejandra nodded.

Spike stood up and smiled at her. "It's good to see you again, Ali."

She managed a smile. "You too. I'm sorry for my rudeness yesterday; it was uncalled for."

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault you're in love with me."

Her eyes grew wide. "What did you say?"

"You're in love with me." He stated with a grin on his face.

Angel saw the anger flash in Alejandra's eyes. "Smooth, man."

Before Spike could respond to his sire, he found himself on the ground with one swift punch from Alejandra.

Angel chuckled. Alejandra turned to him and before he could react, he too found himself on the floor after being on the receiving end of a sharp right hook.

Both vampires stared stunned at the enraged vampiress standing over them. "What did you do that for?" Spike asked.

"Because you're a cocky, little jerk who needed to be put in his place." She turned to Angel. "The same goes for you except you can add traitorous to your list. You had no right to tell him what I told you last night. That conversation was held in confidence." She glared at him, a hint of gold flashing in her dark eyes.

"I...I'm sorry." Angel stuttered. He felt like a scolded child, which was odd for the 240+ year-old vampire; he was used to being in control and being the dominating force in any situation. That just wasn't so in this case, and he knew it.

"Don't do it again. I'll let you know when I want you to tell something to someone, understood?"

Angel nodded his head.

Spike watched in amusement. He had never seen his sire be so submissive to someone and especially not a female.

"What are you grinning at?" Alejandra's voice brought Spike from his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." He answered.

"Keep it that way. I'd hate to have to knock that grin off your face, but I'm not opposed to doing it."

Spike promptly stopped grinning when he realized that she probably had the strength to back up her threats.

Alejandra turned from them and sat down on the couch while they picked themselves up off the floor. They took their seats in the living room.

"Strong right hook you've got there." Angel said absently rubbing his jaw.

Alejandra smirked. "I've had to take care of myself for a long time. I learned quickly and well."

"Your sire taught you?" Spike asked.

"No. My sire was killed when I was forty and I've been on my own since then. I've made some enemies along the way. You know the rules. Survival of the fittest, kill or be killed. I trained, I studied, I practiced and when it came time to fight, I fought with all I had. Sometimes they walked away, sometimes they didn't, but as you can guess, I always did." They were quiet for a moment.

Angel looked at her. "You said that some walked away. That means you have some enemies that are still out there?"

She looked at him. "Yeah. I'm sure I always will. For every one that I take out another one pops up. I just can't seem to not make enemies; must be something about my personality that they don't like." Alejandra grinned.

Angel looked at her seriously. "Are you in trouble? Do you have someone after you? What was your meeting about yesterday?"

Alejandra looked him in the eye. "I'm always in trouble. There's always someone after me. My meeting is none of your business."

"I just want to help you."

"I didn't ask you for help."

"I know, but it's what I do. I help people."

"I'm not people. I'm a 350 year-old vampire who is more than capable of taking care of herself which she has proven many times and will prove again."

"I'm sure that's true, but maybe I can help. At least let me try." Angel offered.

Alejandra sat forward on the couch putting her face just inches from Angel's. "I'm going to say this only once, so listen good. I did not come here for help. I'm not asking for your help. I do not want your help. What I do want is for my business to remain my business. If such a time arises when I feel it should become your business as well, you'll be the first to know. But until such a time arises, stay out of it. Ok?" Her hard eyes stared into his.

"Fine." He replied.

"Good." She sat back in her seat but didn't take her eyes off him. It wasn't until Spike spoke up a couple of minutes later that she turned her gaze from Angel.

"So, Ali, what have you been doing for the last twenty years besides looking for him?"

"Just surviving. I started a search for my childe at one point, but I haven't found him yet. I'm not sure I will."

Angel looked at her. "You can't give up, remember our deal."

She smiled at him. "I know. I'm not giving up."

"What's his name?" Spike asked.

"Fabrizio." Alejandra answered.

Spike looked at her and smiled. "I think he might be in LA."

"What!" Alejandra started to get excited, but quickly calmed herself.

"I heard that name a couple of nights ago in a bar apparently he's new in town. I'm not sure if he's the one you're looking for, but I can make a call and find out." He offered.

Alejandra asked him to do that, and Spike called his guy to inquire about the vampire. When he hung up the phone, he looked at Alejandra and smiled. "It's him. All the information they had on him matches what you told me."

Alejandra stood in shock for a minute. "I can't believe it. He's here in this city. Did you get an address?" Spike nodded and handed her the paper. She looked at it. "I'll go tomorrow night." She decided aloud.

Angel looked at her and smiled. "Would you like some company? The apartment building he's in is just a couple blocks over from here."

Alejandra smiled. "Thank you for offering. But this is something I have to do alone. I haven't seen him in over two hundred years and I'm not sure what his reaction, or mine for that matter, is going to be."

Angel nodded and hugged her. "Congratulations."

She hugged him back. She got lost in memories for a few minutes and Spike and Angel didn't disturb her. She finally murmured. "After all these years I'll get to see him. Fabrizio. Mi amor."


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 5)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Last one for the night; don't want to spoil my readers…hehehe. Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 5

The next evening Alejandra went to Fabrizio's apartment. When he opened the door, she smiled at him. "Fabrizio."

"Hello, Zana. I heard you were in town; I was wondering when you would show up." His voice was even.

She smiled. "I didn't know until last night that you were in LA. May I come in?"

He stepped aside. "Of course."

She walked in and gave him a hug. He didn't hug her back, and she quickly pulled away. "Fabrizio? Is something wrong?"

He looked at her. "It's been two hundred years. Did you think I would just accept you with open arms?"

Alejandra looked away. "I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have assumed that I could just show up here and you'd be happy."

"Happy? What do you want, Zana? Why are you here?" Fabrizio asked.

"I was hoping you'd join me again. We can be the team that we started out as."

"I'm not interested."

Alejandra couldn't hide the hurt in her eyes. "I'm your sire. I can make you join me."

Fabrizio nodded. "Yeah, you can. You can force me to do anything, but is that really what you want?"

"No. So, I'll make it your decision. Whatever you want to do." Alejandra looked him in the eye.

Fabrizio reached around her to open the door. "I think you should go."

She nodded. "Ok. Look me up if you ever change your mind. I'm always there."

Fabrizio nodded. "I know. It was good to see you again, Zana."

"Bye, Fabrizio." Alejandra walked out the door and heard it shut behind her. She felt as if she had died...again.

It was about an hour after sunset the next evening when Alejandra stumbled through the door of Angel Investigations. Cordelia and Doyle looked up from their work and saw her. Doyle rushed over to help her and she struck out at him. He fell back and grabbed his face; when he looked at his hand there was blood coming from the wounds left by her nails.

"Angel! Get out here!" Cordelia called and Angel rushed out with Spike behind him.

He saw Alejandra and ran to her. She was swaying slightly and speaking angrily in Spanish. "Alejandra, what's wrong? What happened?" She continued to rant in her native tongue.

"I'll tell you what's wrong. She stumbled in here and slapped Doyle when he tried to help her. Look, she drew blood." Cordelia said upset as she pointed at Doyle.

Angel looked over at him. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Doyle answered.

Angel nodded and turned back to Alejandra. It was then that he smelled the alcohol. "She's drunk!"

Spike agreed. "Which means that she must be really upset because it takes a lot for her to get drunk. A lot!"

"How do you know?" Angel asked.

"Let's just say, back when I first met her, we drank a lot of alcohol and she bested me. You know how I can hold my liquor and she was doing a whole lot better than me. She matched me glass for glass, shot for shot and didn't appear affected even when I started to get a little drunk." Spike met Angel's eyes.

Just then Angel's senses picked up something else from Alejandra. "She fed recently. On human blood."

"What? But she has a soul." Cordelia was really upset now.

"She told me that when she gets drunk, she has a tendency to become violent and even turn back to old ways." Spike answered.

Angel looked at Spike. "We have to figure out what happened." Then he turned to Cordelia and Doyle. "You two should go home. We'll take care of her and see you in the morning."

Cordelia shook her head. "No way. I'm not leaving you with psycho-vamp."

"Cordelia, we can handle her, but I'm not sure what she might try to do. We know that she's fed off of someone and she drew blood from Doyle. She's very strong and if she turns violent, I don't want you to be here. She took me down with one hit and didn't even have to try. Please, for your safety, go home." Angel insisted.

Cordelia looked at him for a minute before giving in. "Fine. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight. Bye, Doyle. You're sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, fine. See you in the morning." Doyle and Cordelia walked out.

Angel turned to Spike. "Let's get her downstairs." Spike nodded, and they turned to get Alejandra. She landed two powerful kicks to each vampire's chest and they hit the floor. She started to run out of the office, but Spike grabbed her ankle. Just as she pulled her ankle from Spike's grasp, Angel started to grab her wrist. She hit him and jumped up. The struggle lasted for about twenty minutes. Alejandra landed lots of good blows, but thanks to a vampire's quick healing power Spike and Angel were able to handle the pain as it came. When they finally got hold of her, they carried her downstairs kicking and screaming in Spanish. They set her on the couch and restrained her. Then, they waited for the alcohol to wear off.

After a couple of hours, Alejandra started coming out of her drunken state. "Angel? Spike? Why am I tied down?" She struggled against her bonds but found that they were secure.

"You were drunk and in a violent rage." Angel answered.

As her memories came back to her, Alejandra's eyes grew wide. "What did I do? Did I hurt you?"

Spike sat beside her. "No, luv, you didn't hurt us."

"You gave Doyle a pretty good scratch to his face, though." Angel said.

Alejandra nodded. "I remember now. I stumbled into the office. He walked over to help me and I clawed him."

Angel nodded. Then, he leaned forward on his chair and looked her in the eye. "We don't think that's the worst thing you did."

She closed her eyes and then opened them again. "No, you're right. I killed a man. Three, actually."

Spike's eyebrows rose. "Three?"

Alejandra looked at him. "Are you surprised that I killed or that I killed three?" She looked at Spike who didn't answer. "I'm a vampire; I kill for food. When I'm angry, it's more for sport. So, I usually kill more than normal."

"We don't kill." Angel gestured to him and Alejandra. "We have souls."

Alejandra looked at him. "You don't kill. Don't speak for me."

"You feed off humans?" Angel asked shocked.

"Not always. But sometimes, I have to. There comes a point when I can't fight the craving anymore. So, I satisfy my craving and then, I'm ok." She looked at Angel who was staring at her with a look of both shock and disgust. "Don't look at me like that. Don't you ever miss it, Angel? Not the kill, but the blood. There's no taste like fresh, mortal blood. Don't you miss the taste, the smell, and the feel? The way it seeps from the vein and pours down your throat. The way it seems to pulse in your own dead veins, and for just a moment you feel almost alive. Don't you miss that, Angel?"

"No."

"You lie. You're a vampire, soul or not. There's no way you can sit there and honestly tell me that you don't think about it."

Angel stood up and began pacing, avoiding looking at Alejandra. "Ok, sometimes, yes I miss it. But I have my soul now and I can't kill people. How can you do it? Doesn't the guilt eat you up inside?" Angel looked her in the eye now.

Alejandra looked in Angel's eyes. "I guess my soul just isn't as pure. It was probably corrupt long before I became a vampire. I feel guilt over some of my past deeds, but it's never been enough to take me out of the game, not completely."

"I can't let you do that here, not in my town. I work to keep people safe from vampires and demons. I can't let you kill and get away with it."

"Then stake me. Do it here, now. I'm restrained; you don't have to worry about me getting away. Stake me."

"I can't stake you."

"Why not?"

"You have a soul..."

"So, humans have souls and yet every day there are humans that kill or hurt other humans. Evil comes in all packages, Angel. I'm evil."

"No, you're not. I don't believe that."

"I just killed three men. And I don't mean, clean easy, bite and drain kills. I brutally beat them and tore their bodies apart as I fed. You want details?" Alejandra's eyes softened with sadness as they met Angel's. "I'm evil. Stake me. You'd do us both a favor. You wouldn't have to worry about me killing anymore innocent people, and I would be out of my misery."

"What?"

"He doesn't want me. I'm alone. Really alone."

Spike looked at her then. "You're not alone. You've got me, luv."

Alejandra gave him a small smile. "I know, but it's not the same. Angel's first in your heart, and that's the way it should be, but I need someone who can put me first. There was one chance, and he doesn't want me." The sadness overwhelmed her and she closed her eyes.

Angel began to understand. "Fabrizio?"

"He doesn't forgive me for leaving him. In fact, there was nothing he felt for me except resentment and hatred."

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine the pain that must have caused. I don't know what I'd do if that happened to me." Angel looked at Spike and smiled. Spike smiled back at him.

Alejandra opened her eyes. "It won't happen to you. Spike wants you in his unlife, and you want him in yours. One happy family."

Spike looked at Angel. "I think our little family needs female influence. Don't you, Angel?"

Angel smiled understanding what Spike was doing. "Definitely."

Spike turned to Alejandra. "What do you say, Ali? Join our group?"

Alejandra smiled. "It's a good offer, but..."

Spike cut her off. "Good. It's settled."

Alejandra glared at him. "But I don't fit. I'm not like you. You guys fight for the good side, while I am definitely a member of the bad side."

"You could change. You could help us. Your strength would really be a bonus for us." Angel said.

Alejandra shook her head. "I can't change. I've been at it for too long; I'm very set in my ways. So, if you'll release me, I'll leave and be out of your way."

"I can't let you go in this condition."

"Oh, don't worry, I won't kill myself. I'm really feeling better."

"I can't let you go out there, unless you promise to stop feeding off the people."

"I'll leave LA. You won't have to know what I am or am not doing."

Angel looked at her trying to think of a way to make her stay, but he could think of none and the glare she was giving him made him realize that her anger was flaring again. He released her from her bonds. She stretched and stood. "I'll be on my way then. It was nice to meet you, Angel. I'm sorry we couldn't get to know each other more." She shook his hand. Then, she turned to Spike. "Spike, it was good to see you again. I'll never forget." She kissed his cheek. She walked to the door and turned back to them. "You two take care of each other, ok?" They nodded. She smiled and walked out the door.

They stood there for a minute hoping she would come back, but when it was clear that she was gone, they sat. "You think we'll see her again?" Spike asked.

"I don't know. I hope so." Angel said.

They sat in companionable silence that night thinking about the woman who stole their hearts and didn't even know it. They knew no matter what that their life would never be the same, after knowing and caring about her.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 6)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: New chapter! Yay! Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 6

A week after Alejandra left, Spike and Angel were sitting in Angel's apartment watching TV when there was a knock on the door. Both jumped up quickly thinking that maybe it was Alejandra. Angel opened the door and saw a young man standing there.

"I'm looking for Angel?" The young man inquired.

"I'm Angel."

"You're the vampire with a soul who used to be Angelus?" He wanted to clarify.

"Yes. Can I help you?" Angel asked as politely as he could.

"My name is Fabrizio. I'm looking for a vampiress by the name of Xaranzana. Do you know where I might find her?"

Angel looked at him. "Fabrizio as in her childe?"

Fabrizio nodded. "Yes. I would really like to find her."

"We don't know where she went. We haven't seen her in a week, and don't know that we will again."

Worry passed over Fabrizio's face. "Did something happen?"

Spike stepped up at this time. "If something did happen, why should we tell you? You're the one who threw her out."

"I understand you're upset with the way I treated her; you have every right to be. But please, if something happened, I need to know. Under the right circumstances she can be a severe threat not only to others but to herself." Desperation filled Fabrizio's voice.

Angel looked at him and knew he told the truth. "Why don't you come in and we'll discuss what happened."

Fabrizio followed the two vampires into the living room where all three sat down. "So, something did happen?"

Angel nodded. "Yes. Apparently, after leaving your apartment, she went out drinking. She got very drunk. She stumbled into our office the next evening shortly after sunset. She was in a very violent rage for some time, but she calmed down after a couple of hours."

Fabrizio stared back at Angel. "Oh no. Did she kill? Do you know?"

"Yes. She said she killed three men that night."

"And how was she acting when she sobered up? What kinds of things did she say?"

Angel said. "She said that she still craved the kill and didn't deny her cravings. She said that she is evil. She dared me, and at one point practically begged me, to stake her."

Fabrizio nodded. "Anything else?"

"She said that she was alone. She thought that because you didn't want her no one did." Angel answered honestly.

"I was afraid of this. You let her leave like that?" Fabrizio looked at Angel.

"We couldn't stop her. She insisted that she was fine and that she's one of the bad guys and can't or won't change."

"She knew exactly what to say. She was suicidal. She wanted you to end her life for her."

Spike spoke up. "She didn't look like she was going to go walking in the sunrise."

Fabrizio shook his head. "No, she never does, that's what makes it so easy for her to get away from the ones who try to stop her."

"She's done this before?"

"Yes." He paused. "She has a few emotional problems. When I first met her, it was only the abandonment issue. She'd been left behind so many times in her life. When she thought it was happening again, she would go a little insane and want to kill herself. She came very close the first time, but I learned the warning signs quickly and she never got that close again. At least not while I was around, but after she kicked me out it wasn't easy to watch."

"She showed a great display of her issues with abandonment on this one, but what are her other problems?"

"The guilt. When she drinks and turns violent, she kills and later the guilt becomes too much."

"But she said she didn't feel guilt. She claimed to enjoy the kill; she was acting almost like a soulless vampire." Angel said.

Fabrizio nodded. "Yes. At first she doesn't feel the guilt and she does act like a "regular evil" vampire, but then later the guilt sets in and she becomes suicidal."

Spike looked at him. "How do you know this? I thought she left you before she was cursed."

"She did. I ran into her about fifty years ago. She was already drunk and had killed one person. I didn't realize right away that she was drunk; I thought that she was just back to herself. We killed seven between the two of us that night. She was fine with it for a day, but then the guilt and the memories took over and she broke down. I was able to stop her from ending it, and I stuck around for a couple of days until I was sure she was ok. Then, I left. I worried after leaving that she would try to kill herself over the abandonment, but she didn't."

Angel said. "But she might this time. She got hit with both abandonment and guilt; it's really going to hit her hard. We have to find her."

"She could be anywhere. She said she was going to leave town." Spike said.

"She didn't." Fabrizio said. He saw questioning looks on their faces. "I'm her childe; I can feel her. She's still in town and alive, so to speak, for now. But we can't waste any time. Really the first twenty-four hours are critical. It's been a week; if we don't hurry we might be too late."

They all gathered their coats and headed out to search for her. They were all afraid that if they didn't find her that night the following sunrise would be her last.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 7)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Another double night. I'll try to post another one sometime this week. Hope you all like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 7

It was about an hour before sunrise and Alejandra was headed back to her apartment. She was about a block away when she saw three familiar figures approaching.

"Angel? Spike? Fabrizio? What are you doing here?"

"We've been out looking for you." Angel said.

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. We don't want you trying to kill yourself." Spike replied.

Alejandra looked at Fabrizio. "Did you start this?" Fabrizio looked at the ground and back up at her with a shy smile. "I'm not going to kill myself, but we'd better get inside before the sun takes the choice from all of us. Come on, my apartment is about a block away. We'll go there for the day." Alejandra led the way and the three males followed obediently.

When they reached her apartment they all went inside and took a seat in the living room.

Angel looked at her and spoke first. "We're sorry to have bothered you; we were just concerned. We don't want anything to happen to you."

Alejandra smiled. "It's ok. I appreciate your concern. Whatever Fabrizio told you was more than likely the truth, and in another time I would have at least attempted to kill myself." She looked at Fabrizio. "But I didn't this time out of stubbornness mostly. I told you to look me up if you changed your mind. I decided to stick around in case you ever did."

Fabrizio smiled. "I'm glad. Because if it's not too late, I'd like to change my mind. I would love to team up with you again."

Alejandra's eyes lit up and she hugged him. "Really? That's great. Of course it's not too late." She kissed him, but pulled back when remembering that they weren't alone. She turned back to Angel and Spike. "I'm sorry. I got carried away with my emotion."

They smiled. "Don't apologize. You have every right to be happy." Angel said.

Then a thought struck Spike and he asked. "If you weren't considering suicide, why were you out so close to sunrise?"

"Well, I didn't plan to be out that late, but I got tied up in a meeting that took longer than it should have."

"Another meeting?" Angel asked.

Alejandra looked at him. "Yes. Another meeting that is none of your business."

"Does the fact that you're injured have to do with the meeting?" Fabrizio asked with concern in his eyes. Alejandra looked at him in shock. "You didn't think I would recognize the scent after all this time, did you?"

Angel and Spike picked up on the scent at that time as well. "What's going on, Ali?" Spike asked.

Alejandra tried to avoid the gazes of all three vampires. "I kind of lied about there being a meeting. I was attacked. I haven't healed from a couple of the harder blows, but I'm alright."

"Let me see." Fabrizio said.

As Alejandra took her cloak off so Fabrizio could examine her arm, Angel began pacing. "Who attacked you?"

"A couple of vampires." She winced as Fabrizio brushed a deep part of the wound.

"This needs to be bandaged. Do you have anything to dress this wound?"

"Yeah. Everything is in the bathroom." Fabrizio got up to retrieve everything he needed.

"Did you recognize the vampires?" Angel asked.

Alejandra shook her head. Fabrizio returned and started to bandage her arm. "But they were probably sent by Aramis."

Fabrizio looked at Alejandra when she said the name. "He's still after you? It wasn't just a rumor?"

"Yeah. He hasn't come after me himself, yet, but he's been sending others for a couple centuries." Alejandra answered.

"Who? What's going on? Are you in trouble?" Angel asked.

Alejandra looked up at him. "I guess you deserve to know. I have many enemies as I told you before, but Aramis is my oldest enemy. You may want to sit; this story is a little long." Angel sat down and began to listen along with the other two, although Fabrizio already knew most of the story. "I met him the night that I turned Fabrizio. You see, I was not the only vampire interested in him. Aramis ran a small clan with his brother, Jacques, and they wanted to make Fabrizio a part of their clan. There was a brief fight over him, and I won. The brothers did not take well to this and followed us out of Italy. They caught up with us in Switzerland a couple of years later. There was a big violent fight. I was just about to kill Aramis when his brother jumped in front of him and I killed Jacques instead. Aramis ran after his brother became ashes and Fabrizio and I also took off never looking back. Somehow, he found out where I was and started to send other vampires after me about a year after I sent Fabrizio away. He's been sending others after me for about two hundred years now, but as of late, they're coming more and more often, which tells me that he's probably getting ready to come after me himself. Only one of us is going to walk away from that fight."

Angel looked her in the eye. "You're going to walk away because I'm going to help you."

"We are going to help you." Spike stated.

Alejandra smiled. "I appreciate that. I'm willing to let you help me with his minions, but not him. When he decides to fight me, it has to be just me and him."

Angel nodded in understanding. "But you'll let us help you with the others?"

She nodded. "Yeah. They're getting tougher and stronger, and I need my strength to fight Aramis."

Fabrizio said. "I can't believe he's still trying to get you after all this time."

Alejandra looked at him. "He's a vampire. We have an incredible ability to hold a grudge."

They all laughed at that truth.

The next weeks were spent fighting vampires sent by Aramis and demons and other minions of Hell that Angel fought on a normal basis. The four became a good team and a tight group. They knew that when the big fight came they would be ready.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 8)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Yay! New chapters :) Sorry it took so long; it's been crazy around here. Anyhoo, hope you like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 8

Nearly a month after the group had joined forces, Fabrizio and Alejandra were sitting home one night talking. They were reminiscing about old times together when there was a knock at the door. Alejandra got up and answered it. It was a messenger who merely handed her an envelope and hurried away. She opened the note and read.

_Xaranzana,_

_Meet me at the old theater on 47th St. tomorrow night at midnight. I look forward to seeing you after all these years._

Aramis 

Fabrizio asked. "What does it say?"

She looked up from the note. "It seems I've been invited to the final fight." She handed him the note and went to the phone to call Angel.

The next night Alejandra, Fabrizio, Angel and Spike drove to the old theater to meet Aramis. They got out of the car and walked up to the door.

"I'm going in first; you all back me up." Alejandra said. The guys agreed with no protest because they knew that there was no arguing with her once her mind was made up.

They walked in with the guys standing just back and to the sides of Alejandra. They were greeted by Aramis.

"So good of you to come, Xaranzana. I had no idea you were bringing reinforcements." Aramis said, his English was good but his voice carried a heavy French accent that even centuries of being the undead could not erase.

"They are only friends. Here to support me, but I fight my own battles, Aramis. You should know me that well by now."

Aramis looked at her with surprise. "Fight? I have not offered violence here."

Alejandra smiled slightly. "Not yet. You don't think I'm stupid enough to believe that you didn't ask me here to kill me, do you?"

It was his turn to smile. "I have underestimated you on many things but never on your intelligence."

"So, you know why you've called me here; I know why you want me here. Let's not pretend with each other, ok? You want revenge for your brother's death. I respect that you will finally meet me face to face. How do you want to do it?"

Aramis stared at her for a beat as if trying to guess if she had something up her sleeve. "I want you dead, just as my brother is dead."

"I already guessed that part, but you know I will not go down without a fight. So my question is, how do wish to fight?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Tomorrow night midnight, I will come to you. And we shall find out once and for all how good you are. You have been able to kill my minions, now we shall see if you can take me."

"Why not tonight?" Alejandra asked.

"I have a few things to work out first." Aramis answered. "I do apologize for asking you out here and not following with plans, but you understand that things happen."

She nodded. "Fine, tomorrow night then. I can't wait."

He smiled. "Neither can I."

With that, Alejandra and the guys left. They did not speak on the drive home, no one wanted to say what they were all thinking. Alejandra was a very good fighter and had not yet met one that she could not take. But everyone knew that there was a very real possibility that this could be the final battle in more than one respect.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 9)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Yay! New chapters :) Sorry it took so long; it's been crazy around here. Anyhoo, hope you like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 9

After sunset the next night everyone met at Alejandra and Fabrizio's apartment to form some sort of plan.

"Well, the first thing to decide is where we are going to go. We can't stay here." Alejandra said.

They all looked at her confused. Spike asked, "Why can't we stay here?"

"Too many innocent people to get caught in the crossfire if we allow the fight to take place here." Understanding and agreement passed over the males' faces.

"We could go to my building, no other people to get caught up in it there." Angel suggested.

Alejandra nodded. "Yes, that will do nicely. Let's go." She went to the closet and pulled out her bag of weapons and started toward the door.

Fabrizio stepped in front of her. "Don't we still need a plan?"

"We'll have to discuss it on the way. Aramis is going to find us wherever we go and soon; we have to hurry." She pushed by him and got out the door.

Fabrizio looked to Angel, who shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "I couldn't have stopped her either." And they followed after her.

When they reached Angel's building they formulated a rough plan and took up their appointed stations. "Everyone remember if he has minions with him you are free to fight them, but leave him to me. That is my battle." Alejandra reminded.

At midnight just as promised Aramis arrived. He had two minions with him, but none came in attacking so Angel, Spike and Fabrizio did not attack either. They knew the rules; once one side attacked the battle would begin.

"On time I see, always liked that in a man." Alejandra said with a little smile.

Aramis smiled back. "Punctuality is important." He stepped closer to her. "Are prepared to meet your doom?"

She stood her ground against him. "I am ready to fight you."

He fell into a fighting stance and said. "Then let it begin."

They circled each other for a moment before Aramis threw the first punch easily dodged by Alejandra. The hand to hand fight lasted about twenty minutes with neither vampire gaining any over the other. At that point, Aramis drew a sword; Alejandra also found her sword and the real battle began.

Fabrizio, Angel, Spike and Aramis' two minions watched from the sidelines but did not dare try to interfere. Although Angel almost jumped in when Aramis landed a blow to Alejandra's ribs. It was a deep wound but did not hit any organs so she recovered quickly and drew her sword across his neck slicing deeply but not deep enough to decapitate, just enough to give warning that she was serious about this fight. And so the fight continued on, they were fairly equal in their fighting skills and were landing good blows but never good enough. Both were bleeding from various wounds already in the process of healing. After nearly an hour, both were growing tired and nearing carelessness in their battling. Aramis ran his sword through Alejandra's stomach and pulled it back out in a wash of blood. She collapsed to the floor and Fabrizio cried out and tried to run to her, but Spike and Angel held him back, because the battle was not over.

Aramis had turned and walked across the room to his minions to get another weapon. While his back was turned, Alejandra pulled herself up off the floor. She was bleeding badly and was moving slowly, pain showing on her face with every movement, but as she walked up behind him she gathered her composure and when she reached him her face was empty of all emotion. She raised her sword and laid it against the side of his neck. "Turn around very slowly; I want to watch your face when you die." Her voice was low and dangerous.

He did as he was told, but his look as he faced her was smug not fearful as she expected. "Go ahead. But know that as soon as you have killed me, my minions will kill you." Alejandra did not say a word just went very still, and this time when her cold empty gaze met his, he flinched at the icy coldness. She drew her sword back and swung, taking not only his head but his minions' as well. One by one they disappeared in a cloud of dust. She dropped the sword and collapsed to the floor. Was it because of fatigue and blood loss or something else? Her friends did not know as they rushed to her side to help her to bed.

Alejandra dreamed while she was unconscious. She saw herself killing Aramis; she saw the emptiness in her eyes, and felt the emptiness in her heart. She relived the ruthlessness of her killing. And was left with a thought. Was Aramis really the only one that died that night?


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 10)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Yay! New chapters :) Sorry it took so long; it's been crazy around here. Anyhoo, hope you like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 10

Alejandra slowly opened her eyes and found herself in her bedroom in her apartment. This discovery was a little unsettling because she expected to wake up in Angel's apartment, where the fight had taken place. New location meant she had been out longer than she thought, not a good sign.

She was slowly pulling herself to a sitting position when Angel walked in. "You're awake." He smiled as he stepped up to help her sit up.

"Yeah, how long was I out?" She asked.

"A little over a day. Here drink this." He handed her a glass, which she quickly emptied. "Good girl." He grinned and teasingly patted her head.

She glared up at him. "Where's Fabrizio?"

"What? You don't like my bedside manner?" He grinned, then answered. "We finally convinced him to lie down and get some sleep about a couple of hours ago when the sun rose. He'd been sitting by your side waiting for you to wake up for twenty-nine hours straight."

Alejandra looked up at him. "Any ideas as to why I stayed unconscious that long. My wounds were bad, but not that bad. Were they?"

Angel shook his head. "We don't know. I had suspected poison, but you didn't show any other symptoms of poisoning. Maybe the wound was just that bad, he did almost take organs."

She nodded. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter now. I'm awake and not in too much pain."

"I changed your bandage today; it should be healed in another day. You're other wounds were already healed."

"Ok, that's good." She looked around her room taking it all in.

Angel noticed her looking around. "Fabrizio insisted that we bring you here. He wanted you to wake up in familiar surroundings; of course, he also wanted to be here when you woke up, but he was making himself sick."

Alejandra nodded. "You did the right thing, making him sleep. Thank you for being here. For both of us." She gave him a small smile.

Angel sat down on the side of the bed. "You're welcome." He looked down for a moment then back up at her. "You know, you really had me worried. I didn't know what was wrong, or if you were going to wake up, or how to fix it. I felt helpless and I really hate that."

She put her hand on his. "I know, but I'm ok now." Angel nodded. "Physically, anyway."

Angel looked up at her and saw pain in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what happened to me that night, Angel. Something inside of me broke during that fight, I don't know if it can be fixed."

"What do you mean?"

"When I killed him, I didn't feel anything. Not guilt, remorse, or even happiness. I was empty and I know my eyes held that emptiness. I saw the fear in his eyes when he met my empty ones. And I killed him, brutally."

Understanding crossed Angel's face. "Ali, you did what you had to do to survive. He was an evil vampire, you had to kill him."

"Even if it meant allowing evil back into me? Or maybe the evil never left me. Killing him proved to me what I already knew. I'm a demon, and that won't change, evil lives inside of me, no matter of hiding will change that either."

Angel shook his head. "No, you're not evil." He put his hand to her mouth to silence her objection. "Yes. You are a vampire, but you have a soul. You feel guilt over the deeds of your past, and you're trying to atone for them now."

Alejandra looked at him. "Atoning? How? By living in this apartment with all these beautiful possessions?" She gestured around the room to the heavy velvet drapes in a deep scarlet to match the silk bedding on the huge four poster cherry bed. "These things are possessions I have had since I became a vampire. And many of my dresses and the other furniture in this apartment. Is that atoning?"

"It's not evil to own beautiful things, Ali. If that were true the greater part of Los Angeles, and the world, would be considered evil."

"Angel, I took these things from my victims in my early years. Is it showing true remorse to keep them around even now?" Her voice was soft and pleading him to tell her that her soul was not lost.

He knew what she needed to hear, but he couldn't tell her what he didn't know. "Ali, you're the only one who knows if you truly feel remorse for those crimes. I don't see evil in you when I look at you or talk to you, and you fight side by side with us every night against the demons, but you're the only one who really knows."

"What if I don't know? It feels like a tug o' war game in my head. My soul v. my demon. And which side wins varies minute to minute."

Angel nodded. "I know the feeling. It's different for you and me, Ali. There is no clear cut, black or white, evil or good. It's all in shades of gray."

She nodded. "Yeah." She lay back on her pillows and closed her eyes. "Shades of gray" he said. '_Maybe_,' she thought, _'I'm not evil. I'm just not a saint either._' With a small smile on her face she fell to sleep for the day.

Angel saw the smile and smiled himself. _'Good. Maybe she's figured some things out_.' He pulled the blanket up over her, and went to sleep the day away on the couch.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 11)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Yay! New chapters :) Sorry it took so long; it's been crazy around here. Anyhoo, hope you like. All feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 11

"It's been a really quiet day." Spike observed. He, Angel, Doyle and Cordelia were sitting in the office of Angel Investigations.

"Almost too quiet." Angel said.

Cordelia joined in the discussion in typical fashion. "I know, and that means no money coming in to help my paycheck."

"Well, I'm just happy to have escaped those blinding, skull-crushing headaches known as visions sent by the Powers That Be." Doyle countered.

Just then the office door swung open and Alejandra stormed in, a seemingly reluctant Fabrizio trailing behind. She walked up to Angel. "Hablas espanol? Me comprendes?" She was noticeably upset, but Angel just looked at her confused. "Fabrizio!" She yelled, and he stepped up. She gestured to Angel. "Le dice a el, que lo digo!"

Fabrizio looked at Angel. "She wants to know if you speak Spanish, and if you're understanding her."

"No, I don't know Spanish. Why is she speaking Spanish?"

"Porque soy maldita por un brujo hoy." Alejandra said.

Fabrizio translated. "Because she was cursed by a witch today."

"Why?" Spike asked.

Alejandra whirled to face him. "Porque es comico, no?"

"Because it's funny, isn't it?" The sarcasm was clearly understood.

Angel spoke to stop a fight. "Ok, let me get this straight. A witch put a curse on you so you could only speak Spanish." Alejandra nodded. "Ok." Angel and the others were holding back laughs and trying not to smile.

This made her very mad. "No es comico."

"It's not funny." Fabrizio translated for her upsetting her further. She sat down on the couch and put her head down.

Angel composed himself first and went to her as the others composed themselves. "Ali?" She looked at him. "We're going to help you with this any way we can, ok?" She nodded. "Do you know how long this curse is for? Did it have a time limit?"

"No."

"Where were you when this happened?"

"El parque."

"You were in the park?" She nodded. "Do you know who the witch was?"

"No se."

Angel looked at Fabrizio. "Does that mean 'I don't know.' " Fabrizio nodded. "Ok, I need you to be translator here, ok?" Fabrizio nodded again. Angel turned back to Alejandra. "Do you know why she would do this to you?"

"No. No se quien ella es."

"No. I don't know who she is."

"Did you do something to provoke her?"

"No." This time Fabrizio spoke up before Alejandra did.

Angel turned to him. "You were there when this happened?"

Fabrizio nodded. "We were just walking through the park, and this witch jumped out in front of us and started chanting. The next thing I know, she was gone, and Ali was talking in Spanish."

"It sounds like she was following you, targeting you." Spike said.

"Pero porque mi?" Alejandra said with confusion and sadness.

"But why me?" Fabrizio translated the words; the emotion had been clearly understood from Alejandra's voice.

"Maybe someone hired her. Someone who thinks you know something they don't want told." Doyle suggested. Everyone looked at him and nodded in agreement.

"No se nada."

"I don't know anything."

"Well, somebody thinks you know something." Angel said.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 12)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters, sorry it took so long. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 12

"So the curse worked?" Lindsey McDonald asked the woman standing in front of him.

Tatyana was a witch, the eldest in her coven. "Yes. It worked very well. She can speak nothing but her native tongue."

A smile spread across Lindsey's face. "Good. The senior partners will be very happy to hear that, Tatyana. Wolfram & Hart is in your debt. Whatever we can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask."

Tatyana nodded. "Thank you, Mr. McDonald. I will keep the firm in mind if I find myself in need of a favor."

"Very good." He shook her hand and watched her to the door. When she was gone he turned to the window. "Well, let's see how Angel does now." He smiled to himself.

Cordelia was doing a computer search to find any information on the witch that cursed Alejandra. Fabrizio had given a detailed description for her to go off of. "Two hours and still nothing."

Angel looked up from the book he was reading. "Well, keep looking." He saw the frustration in her eyes. "I know it's hard, but we have to find something. She can't go on like this forever." At that point he looked over to the couch where Fabrizio was sitting with Alejandra sleeping with her head in his lap. It had taken hours to convince her to sleep.

"Ok, I'll keep looking, but only for her. Only for Ali." Cordelia looked at Fabrizio and smiled.

Fabrizio smiled back. "I know she appreciates that. Even if she can't show it in her current state of mind."

Doyle spoke up then. "Well, who could blame her? She's been through a lot lately. It's only been a couple of weeks since she was nearly killed. And now this. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be testy after that." The others agreed.

Just then the door opened and Spike walked in. "Food's here." He set take-out boxes on Cordelia's desk and handed brown paper bags to Fabrizio and Angel. "Have you found anything?"

"Not yet." Angel replied.

"What can I do to help?"

Angel handed him a book. "Start looking through this one for the spell."

Spike opened the book. He stared at it for a moment then looked at Angel. "What is this?"

Angel glanced up. "It's a book of spells."

"I know that, but what's it written in?"

"Latin."

"Latin! I don't know Latin." Spike exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down. You'll wake Ali up." Angel said. "And I thought you knew Latin."

"A very little bit, but not..."

Cordelia interrupted. "Guys. I found something." Everyone turned their attention to her. "I thought that being a witch, she might have gotten in trouble sometime and have a record. I was right. From there I followed a paper trail. And guess where it led."

Angel was looking over her shoulder. "Wolfram & Hart. Of course, anything bad that happens in LA has something to do with them, but what could they want with Ali?"

"Who's Wolfram & Hart?" Fabrizio asked.

Angel looked at him. "It's a law firm. Many of their clients are demons and have committed unspeakable evil for which they never serve time. We have crossed paths many times and never under good terms." He answered.

Spike looked at Ali, still peacefully sleeping. "So, the big question now is, what has Ali done to make them mad?"

"Maybe she isn't the one they really want." Doyle said. Everyone looked at him. "We already know they want Angel. Maybe they're just using Ali to get to him."

Cordelia said. "That makes sense. They know that you will give yourself up to save her."

Angel reached for his coat. Spike stopped him. "We know it's a trap. Don't walk into it; we'll find a way to fix this curse. Then, we'll form a plan and take down these lawyers together. But don't go in there and sacrifice yourself without a fight."

"He's right. Ali wouldn't want it that way, you know it." Fabrizio said.

Angel looked at her. "But I can't let them take her."

"They won't. We're all here to help her. You don't have to fight them alone." Cordelia said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

Angel nodded resignedly. "Ok. So, what's the plan?" Angel said.

"Let's worry with the curse first, lawyers second." Spike said. With that everyone went back to research


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 13)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters, sorry it took so long. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 13

Alejandra stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room of Angel's basement apartment. Everyone else was asleep having crashed from exhaustion after researching for long hours to find a cure for her curse. 'My friends.' She thought with a smile. 'Mis amigos...no, no Spanish. It's bad enough I can speak only Spanish out loud, I don't need to think it all the time too.'

A few minutes later Angel woke up; he saw Alejandra standing in the doorway and smiled.

"Buenas tardes." She whispered.

"You're awake. How did you sleep?" Angel asked getting up and stretching.

"Bien, gracias." She replied and gave him a thumbs up to ensure he knew what she was saying.

They walked into the kitchen and sat down. "Coffee?" Angel offered.

"Si." He made two cups of coffee and placed one in front of Alejandra. She took a sip and smiled at him. "Gracias."

He nodded and smiled back. Silence settled over the two, the language barrier not allowing conversation without Fabrizio, designated translator, present. Finally Angel spoke up. "I'm sorry, I don't know Spanish."

Alejandra reached across the table and touched his hand and smiled. "No es un problema."

He smiled. "Well, it won't be a problem for long. We think we found a spell to reverse this. We are going to get supplies tonight."

Alejandra perked up. "Si? Una cura?" Angel nodded. Alejandra jumped up and ran around the table to hug Angel.

"Am I interrupting something?" Fabrizio asked.

Angel and Alejandra both looked at him. "No." She said as she pulled away from Angel.

"I was just telling her that we found the spell to reverse this curse." Angel explained.

Fabrizio nodded. "I see. I can understand your excitement then." He told Alejandra.

She nodded still smiling. She seemed almost childish in her glee, but it was completely understandable given the good news.

A couple of hours later everyone was awake and they made a list of the things they needed for the spell before heading to the magic shop.

A little while later, they were in the magic shop getting the last things on the list. "We need eye of newt." Doyle said.

"Very popular in spells." Angel said.

Spike asked. "Why is that?"

"El sabor?" Alejandra said.

Fabrizio looked at her and smiled. "Flavor? No, I don't think so."

She smiled back. "Si, sabe a pollo, pero mas robusto."

Fabrizio started laughing and Alejandra joined him. The others looked at him expectantly wanting a translation. "She said it tastes like chicken but stronger." The others joined in with the laughter for a moment before collecting themselves to continue their shopping.

Once they had all the supplies, they went back to Angel's apartment. The ingredients were mixed and Angel gave the incantation. When it was finished, everyone looked at Alejandra.

"Well?" Spike asked anxious to see if it worked.

Alejandra took a deep unneeded breath. "Did it work? Can you understand me?"

Everyone nodded. "It worked."

There was hugging and smiles all around.

"Well, now that I can speak English again, I can ask what you found out about the witch who did this." Alejandra said.

Everyone sat down and Angel told her what they knew. "The witch's name is Tatyana. We think she was hired by Wolfram & Hart."

"Wolfram & Hart?"

"Yes, it's a law firm with its hands in some pretty evil things around this city."

"But what would they want from me?"

"Well, that's the thing, we don't think it's you they're after." Angel looked away then back to her eyes. "We think they were using you to get to me. I have been a thorn in their side since I got to LA."

Alejandra nodded taking it all in. "So, what's the plan? How do we take down the most powerful law firm in LA.?"

"That has not yet been decided." Angel said.

Just then Doyle doubled over in his seat, hands pressed firmly to the sides of his head, obviously in pain. Cordelia said. "He's having a vision."

When the vision passed and the pain started to subside, Doyle looked up at Angel, who was standing next to him. "I saw Ali. She was struggling with someone, but I couldn't see their face. It looked like she was being kidnapped."

"Did you see where this was?" Angel asked.

"It looked like an alley, but I don't know where." Doyle answered.

Angel looked at Alejandra. "Well, we'll just keep in you sight until this thing passes."

She shook her head. "No. We have to go about life as usual. It was most likely someone working for this firm, right?" Angel nodded. "So, we let them take me, and find out why they want me."

Angel started to protest. "But..."

"No buts. I'm a big girl I can take it, besides you'll be nearby so you can trail us and see where they take me."

Fabrizio said. "It does sound like the most logical plan."

The others nodded. Finally Angel agreed. "Ok, fine. But we do this my way, all the precautions I think we need, ok?"

Alejandra nodded. "Of course. You're in charge."

"Or that's what they want me to believe." Angel said. Everyone was silent with the implications of that.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 14)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters, sorry it took so long. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 14

Everyone went to their own places that night. Angel drove his car over and parked near Alejandra's building so that he could see anyone going in or out, but also be out of direct sunlight that day.

The following night Fabrizio and Alejandra were in the apartment watching TV. "Well, the sun has gone down. I'll go do the grocery shopping now." Alejandra said as she got up off the couch and gathered her things.

Fabrizio looked up from the television. "Ok. You want some company?"

She shook her head. "No. I'll be back in just a few minutes." She walked out the door.

"We'll see." Fabrizio said as he changed the channel.

Outside her apartment building, Angel saw Alejandra leave. He started his car and followed a good distance behind her. They were only a couple of blocks from her building when he saw the hands grab her from behind and pull her into the alley. He pulled over and jumped out of his car. He was almost to the alley when someone grabbed him. He started to struggle, but was defeated when a sharp electrical current ran up the right side of his body.

Alejandra was struggling with her captor, who had a hold of her from behind. Then she saw Angel dragged into the alley; he seemed unable to move. "No! It's me you want, leave him alone. I'll go with you."

One of the men holding Angel said, "Wrong, girlie. He's the one we want. He came right to us like they knew he would. So, we'll take him, and you can go on about your business."

Her captor let her go and stepped around to join his buddies. Alejandra straightened up and stared them down. "If you want him, you'll have to go through me."

The men laughed. "Not a problem." And so the fight started.

Alejandra easily fought off the first to attack her. Angel began to struggle with the one guarding him and eventually got him down. Alejandra finished off the third and went to Angel. He was sitting propped against a wall; his left eye was swollen and his lip was bleeding. He was holding his right arm close to him indicating that it had also been hurt.

"Can you stand? We need to get out of here." Alejandra said.

Angel gave a small nod. "I think I can stand with help. My car is around the corner." Alejandra helped him to stand and he leaned heavily on her as they walked to his car.

When they reached his car, Alejandra looked at it, then at Angel and back to the car. "You don't look like you're in any condition to drive. You have little use of your right side."

"I know; you'll have to drive." Angel answered as he stumbled to the passenger side and got in.

Alejandra stood looking at him. "Angel, I don't know how to drive."

He looked at her. "You don't know how to drive?" She shook her head. "You're 350 years old, how can you not know how to drive?"

"I never needed to. When I did have to travel by car, I could always find a man willing to drive me anywhere I wanted to go."

"Well, then I'll just have to talk you through it."

"Angel, I could probably carry you faster than this will take."

"I'm not leaving my car. I know it's not much to most people, but I like it. Now get in." Alejandra walked around the car and got in the driver's seat. "I'm just glad this is an automatic and not a standard." At her confused look. "I don't know if I'll stay coherent enough to talk you through a standard transmission." He paused while she got situated in the seat. "First, place your foot on the brake pedal, that's the one on the left." She did so. "Then put the car in gear."

"'D' is drive?"

Angel nodded. "Now slowly ease your foot off the brake, turning the wheel enough to get back on the street into the flow of traffic, careful not to hit any cars or people." She slowly pulled away from the curb. "Now carefully apply your foot to the gas pedal, the one on the right." She pressed the gas pedal, and the car lurched forward. "Good, now ease off just a little...good, now just keep it between the lines and try to maintain a fairly constant speed." She continued to drive on with his little encouragements and directions on where to turn or speed up or slow down. They reached Angel's building with no accidents. She helped him out of the car and into the office.

Spike looked up when they walked in. "What happened? You look like death...well, more than usual."

"We had a run in with Wolfram & Hart's goons. It was a setup. They expected Angel to run in to save me." Alejandra answered as she helped Angel sit on the couch.

"They used some sort of electrical device to paralyze my right side and cause a lot of pain." Angel grunted as he settled into the couch.

"I'm going to call Fabrizio and tell him I'm staying here tonight." Alejandra said as she dialed the number. It rang several times before she hung up. "He's not there. I wonder where he went." She said in confusion.

"Maybe he went to look for you." Spike suggested. Alejandra nodded.

"...yes, thank you." Holland Manners turned to Lindsey as he hung up the phone. "Your men failed. Angel and Alejandra escaped" Holland Manners was Lindsey's boss at Wolfram & Hart and was more cruel and 'soulless' than he.

"I'm sorry. I didn't expect her to care enough for him to fight." Lindsey said.

"Well, it's no matter now. There will be other days. Just be sure not to underestimate her again. It is said that in her early soul-free days, she was nearly as deadly as Angelus." Holland said.

Lindsey said. "Understood. I won't underestimate her or any of them."

Holland nodded and turned to his window that looked out over LA. "Good."


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 15)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 15

The vampires moved quickly but soundlessly through the parking garage; their movements like that of a big cat, graceful yet deadly. Wordlessly they stalked their prey, scenting the air and listening for the telltale sounds of a human being. The rhythmic breathing, the beating heart, the soft click of $500 shoes on concrete, the swish of a $1000 suit as it cuts through the cool night air. And then they saw him…

Lindsey never heard them as he approached his car, never knew they were there until he was thrown against the side of his car and turned to face his assailant. "Angel! What a surprise!" Lindsey said with a mocking smile.

Angel glared back, Alejandra at his side. "We have some questions. We came to get some answers."

"What makes you think I know the answers?" Lindsey feigned innocence.

Angel looked at Alejandra. "Is he serious?"

She shook her head. "No, he just thinks that he's funny."

Lindsey was smiling as Angel turned back to him. "I don't think you're funny." He pointed at Alejandra. "She doesn't think you're funny."

"I'm crushed." Lindsey replied sarcastically.

Angel pushed him harder against the car; Alejandra put her hand on his shoulder to calm him down and turned her attention to Lindsey. "Now, what does Wolfram & Hart want with me?"

"Who said they do?"

Angel was getting mad again. "Answer the question! Why are they after Ali!"

"They wanted to get you out of the way so they can get to Angel." Lindsey answered. "They figured that since you have a soul too, you would help Angel with his 'inner-struggles.' We want him confused, so to speak."

"Why?" Alejandra asked.

Lindsey looked at her. "I don't know."

Angel was furious now; he vamped out and threw Lindsey hard into the car. His hand tightened on his neck until he couldn't breathe; it seemed this time Angel would kill him.

Alejandra jumped in and put her hand on Angel's. "Angel, don't cross this line. If you kill him, kill a human, you're playing right into their hands."

"There's a difference between an innocent human and him." Angel looked at Lindsey with contempt.

"But once you step over that line, what's to stop you from going further and further down that road." Alejandra pleaded.

Angel looked at her. "He deserves to die. Think how many deaths have been because of him and his clients."

"And if you kill him you're no better than he is. Please, don't do it. Not this." She was pleading with her words and her eyes.

Angel finally relented and let go of Lindsey's throat. He took a gasping breath and looked back at the vampires. "Look, I really don't know why." Before Angel could jump in his face again, he quickly added. "The senior partners don't tell me their reasons and I'm not stupid enough to ask."

The vampires studied him for a minute before deciding he was telling the truth. "But how did they know that I have a soul." Alejandra asked suddenly remembering what he had said.

"They have someone working on the inside." Lindsey answered.

Angel got up in his face. "Who?"

Lindsey opened his mouth to answer, but the word came from Alejandra. "Fabrizio."


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 16)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 16

Angel looked at her in surprise. "What?"

Alejandra didn't respond to his surprise; she was too caught up in her thoughts of the past months since Fabrizio had come back to her. She thought of the day he showed up with Angel and Spike to keep her from killing herself, and of things he had said and done since then. Then the memory of one night in particular came to her.

Flashback 

"Well, the sun has set; we should head over to the office to see if any cases have come up." Alejandra said as she pulled back from the comfort of Fabrizio's arms where she had been snuggled in for the better part of the afternoon.

Fabrizio looked at her and smiled. "Why don't we take a walk through the park first?"

Alejandra looked at him for a moment. "I don't know, mi amor, they might need our help."

"I'm sure if they had an emergency they would have called. We have time to take a walk." Fabrizio gently insisted.

Alejandra finally gave in. "Ok, but just a quick walk."

Fabrizio nodded as he helped her into her coat. "Of course."

End Flashback 

Angel had looked to Lindsey for conformation of Alejandra's suggestion. Lindsey had merely nodded.

When Alejandra came back to herself, she looked at Angel, concern evident in her eyes. "We have to get back to the office."

Angel turned to Lindsey. "We'll be around, Lindsey. I'd watch my back if I were you." With that he abruptly let him go and ran after Alejandra who was already out of the parking garage.

A few minutes later they ran into the office. Fabrizio was sitting on the couch. Doyle and Cordelia were both close to him and between him and Alejandra. Spike was sitting at Cordelia's desk playing with the computer. They all looked up when Alejandra and Angel rushed in.

Alejandra straightened up. "Doyle and Cordelia, get up and come stand by Angel."

They looked at her confused but at the hint of urgency in her voice obeyed without comment. Alejandra never took her eyes off Fabrizio.

Fabrizio smiled and stood up. "So, you found out my secret. Surprised?"

"Once I thought about it, no, not really." Alejandra answered. She closed the distance between Fabrizio and her in a few steps; he never tried to escape her.

He looked into her eyes. "So, it ends like this? Right here?" She gave the slightest nod and pulled a stake from her coat pocket. Fabrizio was the only one who could see it. "But can you do it, Zana?"

She looked him in the eye. "Not only can I, but I will." She pulled her hand back to thrust the stake in and everybody saw the stake. Cordelia gasped and Doyle was speechless. Spike looked at Angel and understanding passed between the two. Alejandra never took her eyes off Fabrizio as she plunged the stake through his cold, unbeating heart. However, as the dust settled, she collapsed onto the couch crying.

Angel went to her and took her in his arms. He held her close as she cried. "Shh. It's ok."

She pulled back from him. "It's ok? I brought him into this group. What if we hadn't gotten here in time, Angel? What if he had hurt one of them? It would have been my fault."

"No, you couldn't have known."

"I should have known!" She exclaimed. "He never had a reason to be here. You and I have souls; that's our reason for fighting the good fight. Spike has a chip in his head, and this is how he gets his fight. Plus, he has a strong bond and friendship to you that make him stay. Fabrizio didn't have a soul, or a chip, or even a bond. It never made sense for him to be here, I just never admitted it to myself."

Angel nodded. "The heart sees want the heart wants to see."

She gave him a small smile. "That's very profound." She looked back at the pile of dust that once was her childe, lover and friend. The tears formed in her eyes again. "Well, it's over now."

Angel put his hand on her shoulder. "You did what had to be done. For your safety and others."

"That doesn't really make it easier, Angel."

He looked away. "I know, I know."

She broke into sobs again as Cordelia, Doyle, and even Spike gathered around her with Angel to comfort her in her grief and loss. Every one of them could understand her pain; they had all suffered losses at the hands of the evil that took Fabrizio from her.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 17)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 17

Alejandra sat by Angel on the couch in his apartment. She was staying with him for a few days; it was too hard for her to go back to her apartment and the memories of Fabrizio that were there.

He put his hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "I miss him, Angel. I miss him so much." She said as tears welled up in her eyes. "I know he was evil and I had to stake him, but I still loved him."

"I know." Angel said.

She looked at him. "How do you know? Have you killed a childe that you loved as I loved Fabrizio?"

Angel shook his head. "No. I killed my sire." He looked at Alejandra before continuing. "It was a few years ago. I was in Sunnydale working with the slayer. You know about that right?" Alejandra nodded. "Well, I also loved her."

Alejandra's eyes grew wide with surprise. "You, a vampire, loved the slayer!"

Angel nodded. "She even loved me in return. However, ours was quite a tragic love. There were too many consequences too high to pay and too many complications. That's why I left and came to LA."

"Wow. The slayer and a vampire in love. Such scandals can only be the product of a hellmouth." Alejandra smiled.

Angel gave a small smile. "Yeah, well, anyway early in our time of working together Darla showed up in town. She caused the normal mischief, lots of killing. Then, she tried to hurt Buffy and her mother. I couldn't allow that at any cost. I staked Darla." He paused for a moment. "I'll never forget the look on the face of the creature that made me what I am. But perhaps the vision that will haunt me more is the look on the face of the woman I had loved for 150 years, as much as a soulless vampire can love anyway."

"They were the same person."

Angel shook his head. "No, I saw the difference. The creature that made me had a look of arrogance and satisfaction, but the woman had a look of betrayal, hurt, and an odd kind of love. It was quite an odd mixture, but I saw it all in that instant before there was nothing but dust." Angel stared off into space, lost in his memories. After a few moments he came back to himself and shook it off. "So, I know, at least in part, what you are going through. It's not easy when the enemy is one that you love or loved."

Alejandra nodded. "That's very true." She looked at him. "Do you recall me telling you that my sire was killed when I was forty?" Angel nodded. "I am the one who killed him." Angel looked surprised. "But you see, it was not difficult emotionally because I did not love him. My sire was very cruel. He used and abused me on whim. I hated him every minute. Finally one night I had had enough. I waited until he fell asleep and then I staked him in our bed as he slept. I watched his eyes filled with surprise and horror until he was nothing but dust; then, I brushed the dust off and went to sleep."

Angel looked at her. "You just went to sleep in the bed that you had just killed your sire in." Alejandra nodded. "Wow."

Alejandra studied his face. "Does this change the way you think of me?"

"No, of course not. We have both done some very questionable things in our soulless pasts." Angel answered.

"Yes, but have you done anything so cruel and calculating."

Angel nodded. "Yes. You have the killing of your sire; I have the making of Drusilla."

Alejandra nodded in understanding, but didn't break the silence as it settled over the two friends. Angel was locked in the memories of the one deed of his past that haunted him more than any: Drusilla.


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 18)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 18

About a week later, Angel, Alejandra and Spike were on their way back from investigating a suspected vampire nest when they came upon a vampire and her victim.

Alejandra was about to rush in and stake the vampiress when Spike said the name. "Drusilla?" Alejandra stopped dead in her tracks and stood staring.

Drusilla dropped her victim, who was already dead. "Spike. And Angelus." She smiled in glee as she ran to the two vampires. "Now we can be a family again." She hugged them both.

Angel pulled back from her. "Drusilla, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, silly." She said it as though it were the most obvious answer. "And now I've found you just where the stars said I would." She began to sway and hum along to a song only she could hear.

"And what did the stars tell you?" Spike asked.

Drusilla looked at him. "Something is coming. Something that is going to hurt my boys." She paused and looked him straight in the eye. "Something Evil." Then she broke off into laughter, as only one who talks to the stars and hears music when there is none can.

Alejandra spoke up then. "What do you mean something evil is coming?"

Angel turned to her. "It's no good asking her anything right now. She won't hear you."

Spike shook his head. "No, she's probably done for the night." He went to her to bring her along with them.

"You're bringing her with us!" Alejandra said in shock.

"Yes. She needs us to protect her."

"Protect her? She's a vampire and completely insane." Alejandra countered.

"All the more reason she needs our protection." Spike insisted.

Alejandra turned to Angel. "Angel, you can't agree with this!"

Angel said. "She needs a place to stay. Plus, if she has seen something in her visions, she could help us with something."

Alejandra threw her hands up in the air. "I can't believe this!"

Spike said. "Look, if you don't like this, you can go home. We can take care of her."

Alejandra glared at him. "Fine. I'll go home." She turned to Angel. "You should probably call Doyle and Cordelia so they can leave before you get there with her." Angel nodded and with that Alejandra took off the other direction to go to her own apartment.

Spike looked at Angel. "I think she's jealous of our Dru."

Angel said. "Yeah, but you didn't need to aggravate her like that."

Spike smiled. "Ahh, you're no fun."

Angel pulled his cell phone out of his coat pocket and started dialing. "Come on; let's get back to the apartment." Someone answered on the other end of the line. "Hi, Cordelia…We're fine…Yes, we cleaned out the nest and we're heading back to the office. But we're bringing someone with us, and I'm thinking you and Doyle should leave before we get there…No, we're not in danger…Um, Drusilla…Yes, I'm aware of that, that's why you should leave…No, we can handle her; Spike and I have dealt with her for a long time…Ali went to her apartment…Yes, she is in agreement with you…We'll be fine…Ok, we'll call you in the morning…Yes…Ok, bye Cordelia." He hung up.

"Let me guess. She didn't think it was a good idea to bring Dru home with us."

Angel shook his head. "No, she thinks it's one of the worst ideas we've had yet."

Spike said. "Wow."

Dru began swaying and said in a singsong voice. "We're a family again. The three of us together after all this time." She giggled.

Angel looked at her worriedly. "I hope Cordelia's not right."

Spike didn't even hear Angel; he was caught up in looking at Dru with the eyes of love and devotion.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 19)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 19

Doyle and Cordelia were gone when Angel and Spike showed up with Dru. So, they let her do her exploring without worry that she would turn their friends into a midnight snack.

Spike watched her as she moved around the apartment. "I can't believe she's back." He said it almost to himself.

Angel looked up from the book he was reading and looked at his childe. "You missed her." It was more of a statement than a question.

Spike nodded. "She was my life, my dark goddess."

"I know." Angel sighed. "But you know we can't let her stay here forever."

Spike whirled around. "What! We can't send her away. I won't lose her again."

"And I can't let her go around killing in my city, and she won't change her habits for us. You should know that as well as I do."

Spike said. "The only reason you don't want her here is the guilt. Just seeing her reminds of you of what you were, and what you did to her. That is why you want her gone as soon as possible. I'm surprised you didn't stake her on the sidewalk tonight…"

Angel started to interrupt. "Spike…"

But Spike continued as if he hadn't heard. "…But you can't do it, can you?"

Angel stood up from his seat on the couch and started to leave the room. He turned and looked at Dru for a moment. Then he turned pain-filled eyes to Spike. "No, I can't." He walked upstairs to his office to sit and brood.

Spike felt bad for a moment but then became caught up in Dru again and forgot about Angel.

Angel sat at his desk in his private office and stared out the window overlooking LA for a minute. Then he leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and let the memories wash over him.

From the moment Angelus saw Drusilla, he wanted her. She quickly became his obsession. He tormented her. He killed her family one by one; telling her God was punishing her for being evil. The "evil" that he said was in her was actually the gift, or curse, of visions. Finally, she decided to join a convent. On her final night, Angelus broke into the convent and killed all the nuns. He then tortured Drusilla and drove her over the edge of insanity before making her a vampire. Her insanity followed into her vampirism.

Once cursed with his soul, she became a source of great guilt for Angel. A guilt that overtook him as he sat in his LA office, remembering.


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 20)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 20

The next morning Alejandra walked into the office of Angel Investigations; she felt bad for not being more supportive the previous night and meant to apologize to Angel and Spike. She looked around the empty office relieved that Cordelia and Doyle were not there with Drusilla so close by. She was on her way to the stairs when she saw Angel sitting in his office. She carefully opened the door and stepped in; upon closer observation she realized that he was asleep. '_Did he sleep here all night?_' she wondered to herself.

She stood there for a moment watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful as though he didn't have a care in the world. In that minute she wished that could be true for him; she wished she could make all the pain and guilt go away. He tried so hard to hide it deep within himself, but she saw it, perhaps because it was such a clear reflection of her own pain.

"Ali?" The question startled the vampire from her thoughts.

"Oh! Angel, you're awake."

"How long have you been standing there?"

She smiled. "Not long. Did you sleep in here all night?"

He shook his head. "No. Most of the night I was brooding, as Cordelia would say."

"Oh." Understanding and sympathy shone from Alejandra's eyes.

Angel stretched and motioned her to sit. "So, why are you here?"

Alejandra sat in the chair in front of Angel's desk and looked at her hands for a moment before looking back up at him. "I, uh, wanted to apologize for my behavior last night."

"Ali, you don't need to…" Angel began.

"Yes I do." She interrupted. "We're a team, the three of us, and I should have been more supportive of your decision."

"You are welcome to your own opinion."

She nodded. "Yes, that's true, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have helped you. I know it wasn't an easy decision for you to make. I know that it's very hard for you to have her here. I know that's why you are here in your office, why you fell asleep brooding. I should have been here for you. And I'm sorry."

Angel looked at her. "You couldn't have stopped the memories. That's something I must deal with on my own."

"Yes that's true." She nodded. "But sometimes we need to know that someone is there, even if they can't physically help."

There was a moment of silence as the two looked at each other and understanding passed between them. "It still amazes me sometimes how well you understand what I'm feeling." Angel finally said.

"It amazes me too." Alejandra smiled at him, and he smiled back.

Silence once again descended on the office. It was a comfortable silence, though, as they just sat, both lost in their own thoughts. Just then a piercing scream was heard from the basement apartment.

Angel and Alejandra both shot up out of their seats and down the stairs. The scene that was laid out in front of them when they ran into the room shocked both.

Spike was laid out on the floor with a furious Drusilla standing above him. Her right foot was effectively crushing his windpipe, tears were streaming down her face and she was crying over and over. "How could you love her? I'm your princess. How could you love her?"

Angel moved quickly to her and pulled her off of Spike and let her sob in his arms as Alejandra moved to help a bruised Spike to his feet.

"Are you alright?" Alejandra asked concerned.

Spike nodded and a scratchy voice answered. "Yeah. Don't know what happened. One minute I was holding her, the next she was screaming and hitting me."

Angel had calmed Drusilla enough that she could speak. "Dru, what's wrong?"

She turned big, tear-filled eyes to him, and it tore at his heart to see the pain in those eyes and child-like tone in her voice. "Nobody wants me. All alone I am."

"What are you talking about?"

She pouted up at him. "You heart's all full of the slayer. And my Spike wants her." Drusilla pointed at Alejandra on the last.

Alejandra in turn gave a small gasp and looked at Spike with wide eyes. "Is that true?"

Spike only turned away, and looked at Drusilla. "I still love you, baby. I was so happy thinking that you had come back to me." He moved a step closer to her.

She backed away from him and Angel, moving towards the exit. "I love you my Spike and my Angel, but you don't want me anymore." She turned and walked out. No one moved to stop her; all were too shocked over what had just taken place.


	21. Chapter 21

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 21)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 21

A couple of hours later, Alejandra was sitting in the upstairs office doing some research, trying to see if she could find any indication of the 'evil' that Drusilla had been referring to the night before. Angel and Spike had been downstairs talking since Drusilla had left. She had moved upstairs to give them some time.

She was just about to start on her second book when Spike walked in. She looked up from the old tome, but didn't say anything. Spike sat down beside her; he took a deep unnecessary breath before turning to her. "Yes, it's true." It was all he said all he needed to say. She remembered what the question had been.

"How long have you felt this way?" Alejandra asked.

Spike looked her in the eye and answered honestly. "Twenty years." Her eyes widened in shock, then filled with pain. "Ali, I'm sorry for leaving that day. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for being so blind. It took losing you to realize that I love you."

She didn't say anything for a moment, then she smiled and threw her arms around him. "Oh Spike, I love you too." She kissed him. "I've wanted you so badly since I came here."

"I've wanted you too, but I never knew how to tell you. Forgive a fool?"

"Yes, yes. All forgiven and forgotten. Nothing matters except that I have you now." She kissed him again and he returned her kiss with equal passion.

Angel cleared his throat as he entered the room. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" He teased.

They turned to him, embarrassed. "Uh, no, not at all." Alejandra said.

"Good." Angel picked up a book. "Doyle and Cordelia are on their way. We have a lot of research to do to find what Drusilla was talking about and see if it is related to Wolfram & Hart's plans."

They nodded in agreement and picked up books to start looking for clues. Soon after, Doyle and Cordelia arrived, and the research party was in full swing. Cordelia's fingers flew over the keyboard as she searched the internet, while the others searched old books for any sign of the 'evil' said to be on its way to them. 


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 22)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 22

Five hours, two pizzas and ten coffees later, the group was growing exhausted and seemingly getting nowhere. Alejandra's head was lying on Spike's shoulder as she fought to stay awake while they poured over yet another ancient tome from Angel's vast library. The two had been very close all afternoon, and while Doyle and Cordelia had both noticed, neither said anything.

Doyle slammed his book shut breaking the silence and startling everyone in the room. "This is hopeless. We're never going to find anything."

Angel was about to jump in with words of encouragement for his tired friend and co-worker, when Cordelia said something. "I found it!" All heads shot up as everyone waited in silent anticipation of an explanation. "They're raising something. Something powerful. A hellbeast or something. It doesn't say for what purpose, but the ritual must take place on the full moon. Which is in…" She flipped through her desk calendar. "…two days."

Angel was reading over her shoulder as she spoke and straightened up once she finished. "That must be what Dru was talking about."

"Great. So, we find out where this ritual is taking place and in two nights we go and we crash their party before they raise the hellbeast, or whatever it is they're bringing to earth to do their evil bidding." Spike said.

Alejandra smiled at him. "I think it's a little more complicated than that. I mean, we need a plan of attack, and a backup plan, and we need to know how to kill this thing in case we aren't able to stop them before it rises."

Angel nodded. "Ali's right, we really need some information from the inside." He looked at Alejandra just then and when their eyes met, they smiled. They both thought of the same person. It was time Lindsey had another visit from the neighborhood vampires.

"I swear, I don't know anything." Lindsey grunted as Angel's fist connected with his stomach.

"You know, you keep saying that." Angel paused to raise Lindsey's head. "But I just don't believe you. This is too big for you to not have your hands in it, Lindsey."

Alejandra looked at the man who was in obvious pain. "If I were you, I'd tell him what he wants to know. I stopped him from killing you the last time; I'm just not sure I'll stop him this time." She smiled sweetly.

Lindsey's eyes turned to Angel whose face held a wicked grin as he prepared to start his assault. "Ok, ok. I'll tell you what I know." Angel's grasp relaxed, but he didn't let go completely. "There's some property about twenty minutes east of the city, the ritual is going to be performed there. I don't know all the details just that I'm required to be there as part of it. They're bringing some creature from Hell. Apparently, he plans to bring a little of it with him."

Angel looked at Alejandra. "That's what I was afraid of." She nodded her head. Angel turned back to Lindsey. "Well, we'll just be on our way then. Have to prepare to stop you."

"What makes you think you can?" Lindsey asked.

Angel smiled. "Oh, we'll stop you, make no mistake about that." He released the lawyer. "Thanks for the information." The vampires began to walk away, then Angel turned back to Lindsey. "Oh, and Lindsey? If you've lied to us, we'll come back and kill you. That's a promise." With that he turned back around; in an instant the two were out of sight.

Lindsey muttered under his breath as he got in his car. "We'll see about that."


	23. Chapter 23

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 23)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: More chapters; some are pretty short, but I hope you like. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 23

On the night of the full moon, the group took off toward the field Lindsey had told Angel and Alejandra about. As they made their way towards it, the sounds of chanting could be heard.

"Good, they've already started, that will make them more vulnerable to an attack." Angel said. "Spread out to encircle them, take out as many as you can."

Silently the group spread out as they drew closer to the circle of evil lawyers that made up Wolfram & Hart's elite. With the element of surprise on their side, the group was able to pick off the first few easily, but as cries rang out through the night alerting others to the enemy, a battle broke out.

The tight inner-circle continued their chanting, intent on completing the ritual. Soon, Angel broke through and knocked the first one out of the circle. As a larger fight broke out, the table of supplies came into view. Unnoticed Cordelia easily made her way to it and destroyed everything needed to complete the ritual. Once completed, the electrical charge that had filled the air dissipated quickly and everyone stopped dead in their tracks. Several angry voices filled the air.

Holland Manners spoke up first, addressing Angel. "Well Angel, it seems you have destroyed our plans this night. You have won this battle. We shall surrender and leave here at once." As he said this, the others made their way out of the field, he, too, turned to go, but turned back around and spoke to Angel once again. "You'll not win the war."

"Are you sure about that?" Angel countered.

Holland only smiled and turned and walked away into the night.

Soon the crew of Angel Investigations was the only ones left. "Let's get out of here, this place is giving me the creeps." Cordelia said.

The others agreed and the friends headed back to the city.


	24. Chapter 24

Title: Shades of Gray (Chapter 24)  
Summary: The line between good and evil is not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.  
Disclaimer: Don't own "Angel" or any characters, locations or other things related to it. Just borrowing it for a little while.

Notes: Well, this is the end. The last chapter; hope you enjoy. As always all feedback, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. :P

Chapter 24

Angel, Spike and Alejandra all went to Angel's apartment after dropping Cordelia and Doyle off at their apartments. Angel sat down on the couch and let the weight of the previous weeks wash over him. He was physically and mentally exhausted.

Alejandra looked at Spike and whispered. "Give us a minute?"

Spike nodded and kissed her cheek before heading into the kitchen.

Alejandra sat down beside Angel on the couch. "You ok?" She asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I just keep thinking about how I've handled things these last weeks, and I think maybe I'm not so far along on the redemption scale as I thought."

"What are you talking about?"

"I really wanted to kill Lindsey. I could see myself ripping his throat out, and it didn't bother me to think about it. It should have bothered me, shouldn't it? Shouldn't I feel guilty for having the thought?"

Alejandra looked at him. "It's not a crime to have a thought, Angel. The important thing is that you didn't act on the impulse."

He interrupted. "But I would have. If you hadn't been there and made me stop, I would have choked him to death that first time."

"Would you?" She looked him in the eye. "Can you honestly tell me that you could have actually followed through with it?"

Angel thought for a minute. "No, I guess not."

Alejandra nodded. "Ok then, that's the important thing." She paused. "That's not what is really bothering you though, is it?" Angel looked away. "She haunts you."

Angel gave a slight nod. "Every day I think of her. She's the one deed I regret the most. Of all the innocence I destroyed, hers haunts me most. I know that I should just destroy her that would be the most merciful. But I just can't do it. I can't look into those big, innocent eyes and kill her. Spike knows; Dru herself knows it."

"Angel, you aren't the one who created her. It's not your fault that she is how she is. It's also not your fault that you can't kill her. That's all Angelus."

"He's part of me. Everybody talks like it's two different people, but he's a part of me, and I'm a part of him."

She nodded. "I know, I know and understand that more than anyone, but in a way, you are two people because the deeds of the past are all his. Unfortunately you must deal with the consequences."

"The consequences being an evil, dangerous childe I just can't kill?" Angel guessed.

"In this case, yes."

He nodded in acceptance of this. He knew she was right. The two sat in silence for a long time that night, thinking about their own pasts and the consequences paid daily. It was a thin line they walked daily, between good and evil, sanity and insanity, redemption and damnation. Because for Angel and Alejandra, the line between good and evil was not black and white, but filled with shades of gray.


End file.
